Presence vs. Presents

If you know me you would realize I am a kid at heart. I love getting presents especially at Christmas. That is one bonus I have from having to go to so many family Christmas parties. However, one thing more desirable than presents is presence. It is being there with somebody who I love. It is sharing a story, climbing a rock together, or just being in the same room.

So what is presence and how does it impact our lives and those we lead?

Presence is Present
Now I know that sounds either trite or very profound. What I mean is when we are with people, we need to be with them wholeheartedly. In our technological age we have many ways to distract ourselves from the very people we seek. Cell phones, Ipods, Internet... all are mediums for communication that can get in the way of being there with someone. I have seen the perfect example of this by watching one of my teenage relatives plugged into their Ipod at a family dinner. They are physically present but their heart is miles away.

A mentor of mine said "Ministry is for the person right in front of you." To serve others we need to be present. Listen and observe the people who are right next to you. What do they need? Give them your undivided attention. Are you too busy for those you lead? Then it is time to reassess your priorities.

Presence is Yielding
Yielding is active waiting. At a yield sign my car is ready but I am waiting for an opportunity pull into the intersection. To be present is to surrender all else to the person at hand. Christmas is the most spectacular celebration of yielding.  The God of the Universe yields himself to become a baby in a manger so that He can serve and save us all.

In the same way do we empty ourselves to serve those under our care? Does their agenda become our agenda, if only for the moment? Do we actively wait on them to serve their needs?

Be Present
Jesus gave the greatest Christmas gift. He is "God with us, Emmanuel." In the same way we can be gifts to those around us. Today give your presence to your loved ones and those who you influence. Be there for them and share with them what God has given you. Give them your "presence".

One step further than you can think

I love encouraging students in rock climbing. There are many spiritual breakthroughs that people accomplish on the side of the rock. They are stretching their mind and bodies beyond their perceived limitations. I have been privileged to be a teacher's assistant for climbing classes through Biola University for the last five years.

We take groups of students out to Joshua Tree National Monument where everything is a climbing wall. However, the bigger obstacle is not the rock. It is fear. Many students hit their mental limitations way before their physical ability. One phrase I use to help is "Go one step further than you can think." It is reaching for that next ledge or trying one more time after you think you are done.

The same principles hold true for students in our youth ministry. Life pushes them further than the limits of their faith. So how do we encourage students in our ministry to go one step further?

Encourage Them Every Step
Students have so many negative images in their lives both externally and internally. We need to create safe relationships for them where they feel loved and accepted. This helps students experience security, belonging and significance in their relationship with Jesus. With our climbing classes we encourage students every inch of the climb. My greatest sense of accomplishment is when someone who never climbs before reaches the top for the first time. Experiencing the joy, the exultation and glory with them is the best feeling.

Hold the Rope for Them
When we are doing our climbs everyone has a belayer. This person holds the rope for the climber and protects them when they fall. In youth ministry, we need hold the rope for teenagers. Be their greatest supporter. Give them everything they need to succeed. We become the coach and students become the stars. In this way youth ministry moves from entertaining teenagers to equipping them for a life of evangelism.

Allow them to Fail
Freedom to fail is vital in equipping students. The image students sometimes have of Christianity is a list of rules and laws that they must not break. We need to overcome this legalistic perspective and help youth embrace the relationship Jesus desires to have with them. By allowing them to fail we give students grace wrapped up in a relationship of love. I love Thomas Edison's perspective on failure. When his laboratory went up in flames with his life's work he talked about how all his mistakes were burned up and he was ready to start fresh.

Go One Step Further
In helping students reach their potential we need to do the same. It is valuable for youth leaders to have a team who encourage us as we equip students. That is why I am such a huge fan of local youth worker networks. The youth leaders in those networks hold the rope for one another. If you are a youth worker and not in a network I would encourage you to go to www.youthworkers.net and get involved.